Being your own mentor

How often have you heard this word – especially if you are in the IT field – or I guess in pretty much any corporate environment these days – MENTORING? Everything from processes to new initiatives to people to entire divisions have to be MENTORED these days. New recruits have to have a MENTOR. Middle management has to be MENTORED by senior management. Heck even your 3 year old has to be mentored into his or her new school or playgroup. Have you ever thought about this process and what it does? Here are a few of my “insights”

Mentoring is indoctrination

In most companies that I have worked with, mentoring has been seen to be more of a hand-holding to get the new recruit or manager to “fall in line”. Rare are the cases where I have actually seen or heard of a mentor actually “mentoring” a “mentoree” and mostly it is relegated to getting them acquainted with the processes and the “thin red lines” of the organization. While this may be necessary but is this really the need or an end to the mentoring process? While knowing the rules is necessary for any person part of a culture, growth of the culture happens in knowing that rules are not followed for the sake of following them.  

Mentoring is detrimental to innovation

In many cases, mentors – with their zeal for being proven as “ideal” mentors have actually killed the spirit of exploration, curiosity or innovation. We yearn for the “out of the box” thinkers while all along we have been “boxing people in” with our mentoring ideals. How many of us have heard – during the course of our careers – our best ideas shot down due to a kind word or “guidance” from our mentors?

Mentoring may not be the right way forward

In certain positions – irrespective of the level or hierarchy – depending on the needs of the organization, there may be a need for free-thinkers and rebels – who, given the chance, could take the organization to heights never seen. These are the kind of free radical electrons that could spin the organization on its head and take it to dizzying heights – IF they don’t get mentored out of that plane altogether.

So what then? Are all mentors evil? Doesn’t the tried and tested tool of organizational herding fall flat? Is there no hope? NAY!

The answer – like they say in the Bhagawath Geetha – lies inwards!

Organizations and even people should embrace the rules laid down by their mentors but more enlightened and truly growth oriented organizations should indoctrinate the principle of INTERNAL mentoring. Truly speaking, it is akin to the axiom that one who knows himself knows the world. This does not mean that I am disrespecting some truly great teachers and mentors out there. But if something is to be learnt from these gurus, it is the fact that they fueled our OWN need for growth and maturity rather than fill our minds with rules and regulations for a better life. If you don’t believe me, try it – think of the best loved teacher in your life and deep down inside you will know that he or she was loved because they taught you the art of challenging the self – and WINNING! When the fire burning bright is WITHIN ourselves, what need is there for external illumination!

When you are your own mentor:

·         You are your best judge and hence will know your strengths best to use them in the path forward.

·         Noone understands your values and goals better than you and hence you are the best person to chart your path and the pace.

·         You are not reliant on external words of encouragement or bogged down by others rebukes.

·         Being SELF-DRIVEN is sure-shot path to success as is evident from the umpteen examples of prosperous entrepreneurs around you.

·         Competing with YOURSELF with YOURSELF as the coach leads to a more positive and balanced approach to victory rather than comparing and contrasting and living up to someone else’s ideals

·         With YOU as the mentor, achieving milestones represent dual victories – of the mentor as well as the learner and would goad you forward even more

·         Eventually you will act as a mentor to others – not in word but in SPIRIT and will be a source of inspiration to your community.

I am not claiming this to be something that can be adopted or practiced right from the get-go. Obviously this involves a lot of introspection and also a GOOD understanding of the self. With a self-mentoring approach as some might argue, it is easy to set too low a target for oneself and bask in the false glory. But I feel, if done right, this could have a life-altering effect – not just for oneself but for the entire community as a whole. I am trying to do this in my life and I can slowly see some positive signs emerging. While these may be premature, the goodness of spirit that this is causing me to feel is goading me forward.

So do you think you could be self-mentored? Do you think this is valuable as an idea worth pursuing? Is this just too esoteric? Have you tried this in your life? Let me know your thoughts through your comments.